Thursday, August 4, 2011

Without my Soul, I am halved.

Sooo, in the past 2 months, I got married, moved to Minnesota..... blah, blah, blah BOOM!

 I'm in the great state of TEXAS!  

No, not with the fam, unfortunately, I miss my little monster terribly.  Just here for a couple days to see my college roomie get married and have some friend time with my BFF Britt.  

Of course I immediately start worrying about my child's life in the hands of my able, yet forgetful, husband.  So I decide the best solution to his is to make a list of instructions for Sammy.  Easy enough?  Um, no.  I end up writing for an hour (while Jarod thinks I'm writing a blog) and have three pages...single spaced...with skewed margins so I don't seem too obsessive with 4 to 5 pages.  Hahaha.  I just want Sam to be comfortable!  Here's a template for all you new (obsessive) moms to use when writing instructions out for your first time outing:



Samuel Babysitting Instructions
Phone Numbers:
Jarod: XXX-XXX-XXXX
Vi: XXX-XXX-XXXX
Vi’s Mom: XXX-XXX-XXXX (for questions only, she’s in Ohio but knows Sam the best)

Samuel’s Temperament:
He likes to play by himself and, for the most part, is fine if you just let him do what he wants.  He can hold the sides of tables and chairs and will walk around, but mostly crawls.  He also likes to play underneath tables and hides in little nooks. Try to avoid letting him do that. 

Sam loves the bathroom, so it’s best to keep that door shut.  If he hurts himself or is grumpy, give him his cow, and he will usually calm down right away.  You might try laughing at him and he’ll start laughing at himself and forget about what just happened.  He also likes his cow to go to sleep.  He has 3 cows, any of them work, but the dirtiest looking cow works the best. 

Sam will not tell you he pooped.  It’s very obvious when he’s doing it, and you have to ignore him until he finishes his business.  Sometimes it doesn’t smell.  He also won’t poop unless he has a clean diaper.  He usually will poop right after you change his pee diaper.  It’s best to just watch him until he does.   He will roll around and try to crawl away.  It’s best to give him a toy while you change his diaper to distract him. He has very sensitive skin and cannot sit with a poop diaper for very long.

Sam loves TV and music.  He will sing to just about anything, but is picky about television shows.  His favorite is Fresh Beat Band that is on Nick Jr at 2:00 and 2:30 pm.  If it’s not on, it’s on the Internet on Nickjr.com.  He will also watch Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go, and Blues Clues.  He doesn’t pay attention to other shows very much.

If you ask him simple yes or no questions, he will answer with “yeah” (it’s very clear) or shaking his head “no” or ignoring you (for no). He doesn’t have a strict schedule for anything, just general times of when he usually likes to do things.

Naps:
Sam naps between 9 and 10am and between 2 and 4pm (depending on when he has his bottle and if he’s actually tired.) He will take an evening nap around 5 or 6 if he has an early afternoon nap.  He wil rub his eyes and smell his cow’s tail.  He’ll cry about everything and sometimes put it his down on the ground.  He becomes a different child.  If you ask him “Sammy, are you tired? Want to take a nap?” He will sometimes answer yes. If you’d like to rock him, go ahead, but if you want to put him in his pack ‘n play, he will put himself to sleep in about 15 minutes.  If he is still crying after 15 minutes, take him out and let him play.   I usually explain to him “Sammy, you need to take a nap so you can wake up and feel so happy and we can play!” That usually gets him to lay down.  Give him a kiss, his cow and he will be good.



Bath time:
Sam usually takes a bath in the morning and night, but I’m trying to get him used to one bath at night.  This can be done after dinner, usually the easiest because he might be messy after dinner.  I wash Sam’s hair with Johnson and Johnson Lavender or plain shampoo. before putting him in the bathtub.  He doesn’t like having water poured on his head yet.  I lean him backwards, and wash his hair while holding him.  I let him play in his little tub for a little bit with his toys.  He chews on them.  He’s started to get up and try and play with the faucet.  Tell him no and sit him down.  After a little bit, I use his Cetaphil Restoraderm Body Wash to wash his body.  I just use my hand to spread it on his body and use the bath water to wash him off.  I take him out right after I do this. 

Sam has rashes on spots around his body.  Mostly on his tummy, thighs and the top of his back.  Right now there are some on his cheeks and side of his face (check under his neck as well).  Rub a thin layer of Cortizone cream on these spots.  Then use his Cetaphil Restoraderm Lotion all over his face and back.  He will fuss.  Give him one of his small toys to play with while you do this, it makes life easier.
Preparing Bottles:
-       Add water to large cup and heat for 2 minutes
-       Formula is ready to be heated out of its bottle.  It needs to be refrigerated after a new bottle is opened.   The bottle must have the brown stopper and blue tube inside before the nipple.
-       Put the bottle in the heated cup of water to heat the bottle for about 5-10 minutes. He likes his bottle luke warm.  If it’s too warm or cold, he will throw it or just play with it.  Don’t let him play with his bottle it will get everywhere.
o   This needs to be done because they are plastic bottles.  Keep the bottle out of sight for Sam, if he sees it, he will get upset and be a handful until it’s ready.
-       Sam can feed himself if you lay him on a pillow, but doesn’t always want to do it.  If you want, you can hold him to feed him.  He doesn’t really have a preference and I don’t care either, just what will make Sam happy.
-       Sometimes the afternoon bottles take awhile for him to finish, if he wants it on and off for about 45 minutes, that’s ok.  After that, through away the milk.  He doesn’t need to drink anymore than what he wants.

Estimated Times for Bottle
*Not exact; around that time, start to make the bottle and he’ll get excited when he sees it if he wants it.

Time
Bottle Size
7:00 to 7:30 am
6.5 – 7 oz
9:00 to 9:30 am *sometimes skips
5- 5.5 oz
10:30 to 11 am
5- 5.5 oz
1:30 to 2:00 pm
5- 5.5 oz
3:30 to 4:00 pm
5- 5.5 oz
8:30 to 10 pm
5 oz 
^^Bottle before bed^^
^He won’t drink all of it, save in the fridge^




Solid Meals* solid foods should be given to him in the highchair with a bib and an extra towel on the side.

Solid Food for Breakfast:
Sam has breakfast around 8:00 or 8:30.  This can be one (two if he starts to cry when he sees the empty cup) cup of the fruit and cereal/oatmeal, his infant yogurt, or a sliced up banana.  He can eat this with a sippy cup of water or orange juice.  He will be most happy with Orange Juice. This can be eaten directly from the cup with his spoon.
Solid Food for Lunch and Dinner:
-       Add 1 jar of pureed meat to 1 cup of vegetable, heat in a bowl for 25 to 30 seconds, stir to mix
-       Use one of his plastic cups (without a lid) to hold half of the cup of baby water. 
-       He must use one of his plastic spoons; he has been allergic to other types.
-       Keep one cup of fruit close by, this doesn’t need to be heated.  He has it for dessert, but sometimes you need to use it to get him to eat his food.
o   If Samuel is hungry, he will eat with no problems, but he will fuss if he’s not starving.  If you need to show him the fruit cup and say “YUM! Dessert” and he will get excited.  Open it, and give him one bite.  Then, pretend to get spoons of it, but feed him his veggies and meat.  Every few spoons, give him a spoon of fruit and it should keep him happy. 
-       He won’t ask for it, but every few spoons, spoon him 3 spoons of water from the small cup.  He will drink water from a sippy cup, but it’s easier with a cup of water in this situation.  If you say “Water” before you give it to him, he will open his mouth for it.
**Sam eat lunch at 12 or 12:30 and has dinner at 6:00 or 6:30**
Snacks:
-       Sam can have snacks whenever you need him to be distracted.  Keep him in the highchair, with a sippy cup of water and pour a few snack (veggie dips or the banana/sweet potato pieces.) try not to do it right before he’s about to have a solid food meal.

*A lot of instructions, but this works best for Sam.  He will be upset if you do something different.  He understands what’s going on (On a weird level).  He is good about showing signs of what he likes even though he can’t talk.  If you explain things to him or ask him questions, he will respond.

Keep in mind, I also added notes in the margin later and am now fully aware of my spelling/grammar errors (That I never fixed)

First time mom? Yes. Obsessive Compulsive? Yes.  But whatever.  I'd do this for my fifth child.  I don't care what any 15 year old babysitter (or Mother-in-law) might think.  This is how Sammy likes life and I'm not about to turn the life of a 10 month old orangutan upside down.  That's dangerous.  He likes things a certain way (just like his mom) and I'm going to let whoever is watching him know that my son is particular about his eating (hates the green veggies, he will spit it in your face) or that he likes certain television shows that stimulate his mind.  Also, I'm tired of the looks I get when I tell babysitters all of this stuff verbally and then they "forget" and are "surprised" by the outcome.  Um, it's written down, read the manual.  

I don't need advice about letting the little things go, or that Sammy needs to get used to other people and different situations.  Until this point, Sam has spent 75% of his life with me, and that percentage is going to continue to increase because I don't have a job.  I like things to be in a certain order and so does my baboon.  We are BFF's like that.  I'm not about to change and I'm sure as hell not going to let Sam.  And really, I'm looking out for you, potential babysitter.  Sam has the potential of being a rotten kid (see monkey references? I hate monkeys.) 

So long story short, if you'd like to watch Sam, read the manual.  I'll give you the written test afterward and then we will see if you get to the second round. 

Lova yaaa

Byeeeee

P.S. I couldn't think of a good title, but I miss my Sammy and Jerry! Sorrrrryyy

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